about feeling alone in this big bad world and finding the right one.

Have you ever feel like nobody understand you?

like nobody cares, and you're all alone by yourself,
no one to talks to when you're having a breakdown,
no one stand by your side when everyone's against you?

I did.

Everyone around me seemed to have their own friends,
clique, flique, BFF, wingman, or whatsoever we named them.

They have the shoulders to cry on,
They know whom to call in the middle of the night when they want to,
They're sure who'll stand exactly on their side, whenever they have problems,
They know who's walking in their shoes, who's seeing things in their way.

I want it that bad, til tonight,
things don't go as I thought they were.

The BFFs turning to be the biggest enemy of yours,
since they know all your secrets,
They seemed to support you in front, and stab you right after you turn your back.
The cliques and fliques, only God knows why when suddenly you don't fit in,
They talk about how they hate the others in front of you, and when you realize,
it's too late to know that they talk exactly the same about you.
The wingman, ones who's supposed to support you to fly,
takes you down and drag you fall.

It might be way too cynical, but don't pretend it's not true.
the facts that your closest friend, who goes out shopping with you today,
who hands you coffee in the morning, who tells you the things you wanna hear,
the latest gossips, the most happening things around, who're agree to you about the girl you hate in high school, or how charming your latest crush is,
they're just not the right person.

that shoulders to cry on, laugh at you,
the smiles and symphaties, just as fake as their makeups,
though they're beautiful, they're just not real.

I turned my back once in a while,
rewind the story in my memories,

when there's one,
who believes in me, when nobody else does,
who cares even just to say thanks, when everybody turns their back,
who seemed to be the person who tells everything i don't want to hear,
just because it's truth,
who seemed to be ignorant about my problem, when everybody ask about it,
the truth is, they all don't really care that much, they're just laughing about it,
meanwhile the one i know, only waiting for the right time for me to tell, 

the one who didn't judge,
the one who didn't lie,
nor pretend,

the one who's not always appear,
the one who seems never care,
the one whom i never thought of,

and now will be,
the one I know I'm gonna miss so much,
just because that one knows how to say it and make me feels right,
and believe in myself, when nobody else does.

I don't need a clique, nor the biggest BFFs who are just a cliche masquerade of a publicity stunt,
the one all i need, the right one.

:)

footnote: 
thanks for taking me seriously, believing in my future, and what i'm doing, when everybody think it's just a joke.
thanks for caring and mind to say something when everybody just don't care.

"True friends are like stars, though they don't always appear, we know they're always there, and they exist."

you know who you are.
and just so you know, you mean a lot to me.

22 June 2009 at 23:43

in my DYC apartment room,

dedicated to my wingman :)